When I was a child, I have always dreamt of riding an
airplane whenever I saw it beyond the reach of tall trees and buildings. I had
even imagined myself inside an airplane, as a naughty but curious young child
looking outside the window, scrutinizing the beauteous world God had made, as
what I had seen in movies. But because I was just a child, who already
understood that I cannot ride an airplane without money, what I could only do
was imagine and dream. I told myself before, “Musakay ko ug ingon ana nga sakyanan
pagdako nako pohon!”. I guess a faith of a child is really greater than those
people who truly knew the deepest meaning of faith itself. Not because it has
been achieved rather it is being believed with great confidence, infinite hope
and profound faith
that the things that a child’s heart desires might someday be achieved. Bruce Di Marsico, author of The Myth of Unhappiness (Volume 1), said that people choose their beliefs, every belief. People choose to believe that they can or cannot do something. People choose what they feel and think about anything. People decide what they want and don’t want. So unlike those people who truly knew the depth meaning or definition of the word faith, a child is not afraid to do anything he/she wants or wants to be because the faith of that child is as small as a seed of mustard, but is bigger than the doubtful faith those what the elder ones have. Like a child with a huge unshakable faith, we moved freely with an overpowering confidence before we had learnt the craft of fear, the art of being afraid about something. When deceitful doubt attacks our hearts, and when we allow the insidious thoughts to cover our mind, that’s when fear comes. When doubt deceived our hearts, we doubt about everything, then comes fear and we fear about anything. According to Bruce Di Marsico (Wendy Dolber’s The Guru Next Door novel), “People behave as they believed.” So all of the things we do, think, and desire about something come from all the belief we have and the way how we live or want to live our life. This really makes sense, a child, with an uncertain knowledge about everything but believes in his/her heart about something with a defying faith, happily and freely moves his/her way towards his/her goal than those who are too distracted with problems. With an overwhelming excitement, outstanding courage, and a remarkable determination I said those words.
that the things that a child’s heart desires might someday be achieved. Bruce Di Marsico, author of The Myth of Unhappiness (Volume 1), said that people choose their beliefs, every belief. People choose to believe that they can or cannot do something. People choose what they feel and think about anything. People decide what they want and don’t want. So unlike those people who truly knew the depth meaning or definition of the word faith, a child is not afraid to do anything he/she wants or wants to be because the faith of that child is as small as a seed of mustard, but is bigger than the doubtful faith those what the elder ones have. Like a child with a huge unshakable faith, we moved freely with an overpowering confidence before we had learnt the craft of fear, the art of being afraid about something. When deceitful doubt attacks our hearts, and when we allow the insidious thoughts to cover our mind, that’s when fear comes. When doubt deceived our hearts, we doubt about everything, then comes fear and we fear about anything. According to Bruce Di Marsico (Wendy Dolber’s The Guru Next Door novel), “People behave as they believed.” So all of the things we do, think, and desire about something come from all the belief we have and the way how we live or want to live our life. This really makes sense, a child, with an uncertain knowledge about everything but believes in his/her heart about something with a defying faith, happily and freely moves his/her way towards his/her goal than those who are too distracted with problems. With an overwhelming excitement, outstanding courage, and a remarkable determination I said those words.
Reminiscing the past, I could still remember the utmost
desire of my innocent heart whenever I saw my elder secondary neighbors waiting
for a tricycle to ride for them to go to school. Our primary school was just a
walking distance from our home, so I hadn’t had the chance to ride a tricycle,
when I was in my preschool year. I always looked at them with great happiness
and excitement as they took their seats in the tricycle and rode their way to
their respective schools. It’s as if I’m the one who was on their place, I was
very excited for them. I told myself that one day I could ride a vehicle, not
only a tricycle but also a big car. What I want at that time was the feeling
while riding a tricycle going to my destination. Few, during my primary, years
had passed; I had the opportunity to ride a tricycle for us, together with my
classmates, to go to another school as our school’s representative. Before that
day had come, I was astonished about the idea of finally having the chance to
ride a tricycle. My family didn’t know what I felt that night before the event.
I can’t sleep, I was engulfed by my immeasurable imaginations, and gladness had
eaten my whole being. Simple word cannot properly describe what I felt that
night. What I only doubted at that time was that, who will come with me? Is it
safe? Then fear came, what will happen to me while riding that kind of vehicle?
But because of the gladness that has been burning in my blameless heart, all
those doubts and fear had gone. The day came and I was all-ready on my way.
With ardent ardor I walked my way into the tricycle, found myself having an
ear-to-ear smile while sitting beside my mama. Owing to the fact that it was the
first time, not only I but also some of my co-representatives, mama, the other
parent/guardian, and our teachers led us, the students/their child, to the
school. The feeling I found was all a mixture of indescribable emotions. I was
excited with the innuendo of nervousness as the tricycle started its way to our
bourn. I felt the bulking pressure that wanted to go out of my overtaken heart
caused by the invincible pressure of the air that gives me the feeling of freedom.
That moment, I felt I was free. As we strode our way and being used to the
feelings I had, I found myself intoxicated by the wonderful views I had
seen. Though it was just a simple
travelling in the land of a not – so – far distance and we had just gone by in
a curvy and uncertain road, passing by in a multiple unparalleled simple houses
and different but unique landscapes persuaded my eyes to take a good look at
them. I never restrained myself in having a restful observation. With burning
faith, I thank God for everything. That moment, even as immature and as
innocent child I was, I uttered a thankful prayer to God that only my guiltless
innocent heart knew. I already knew young as I was, there is He Who created
heaven and earth and us, because at a young age mama already introduced to me
the God Who wonderfully made the world. I always heard her pray, she even
taught me how to do it. Sometimes I utter a prayer that can only be found
within the depth part of my heart and let my heart talk to God. I truly admit
that there are things my heart wants to speak but my mind hinders it, for a
good cause, I guess sometimes it’s better that way. Feeling the impact of the
cold air that touches my frail skin while having a keen observation about
everything that my naked eyes had seen, I felt the seed of adoration to God
that is growing inside my heart. All I think was how God made all of this
wonderful creation. How grateful I am that God made humans and the way how we
are built or made. As a child, while riding that tricycle, I was so consumed by
the thoughts I gathered from the sceneries I saw. Honestly, I am a person who
overthinks things. For a simple person, seeing those sceneries, they’ll live it
behind and enjoy the ride. I do enjoy the ride; I even want it to have no end.
I want the vehicle to not stop moving. In that moment I could meditate my
thoughts, at some point rest myself, and at another second take a look at the
views I had gone by and think about the possibilities, or things in relation to
the views I have seen. While riding the tricycle, I felt a sprouting joy that
blooms inside of me, not because of the mixed emotions I had, but because of
the amazingly created views I saw and at some point found my solitude in one
with nature, though it is given that I am with some people around me.
Truth to tell, I haven’t yet ride a plane in my 20 years of
existence. So as my first time, I expect it to be one of my most treasurable memories
like all the ‘firsts’ have to be. I expect it to be as exhausting, tiring,
stressful but amazingly inspirational at the same time one of my most precious memory gems that would always
remain in my heart when I will have the crowning glory of gray hairs. As a
child I was long time ago, for now I am only child at heart, I’ve never cared
about the doubts and fears I had. Unlike now, I’m so full of and too distracted
by the outside negative invisible forces that pervaded part of my being. Like
those emotions I felt when I had when I rode the tricycle, some part of it
might be the feeling that I will expectedly have when I finally take a step
inside the airplane. Right now, I already feel excited at the same time a huge
part of nervousness. In a way that doubt and fear consumed me. The other half
of me is saying, what if the plane crashes like what I saw in movies? What if
the plane gets out of fuel? The other half of me answered, what if you don’t
think that way, would you be fearful at all or happy in other way around? Because
of over thinking doubt had eaten my mind and scared my heart. Recalling what I
had learned in watching the movie “3 Idiots”, our hearts are easily scared, so
we must think of something that will not scare it, inspire it. When we are full
of fear, we become afraid of about almost everything. For now I can’t assuredly
predict what I will feel in my first plane ride. It would also be a mixed of
unexplainable emotions. At this instant, my mind is boggling about the foreseen
consequences, rather thought – about – things that are not likable. Curiosity
is the beginning of doubt, and by being curious I tend to explore and
scrutinize things. By being doubtful, I tend to overthink things. But I guess,
curiosity kills and I’m really curios of how I will really feel inside a flying
vehicle. Having the thought of seeing the clouds close to me is already giving
me the chill and heavenly feeling like I am floating in my own atmospheric
world with no land and sea, only air. Like a paper blown by the cold wind,
uncertainly going to somewhere were the wind will take it. It was also the
feeling I got back when I rode the tricycle, when I closed my eyes, and started
to imagine like I am a paper in the midst of an overpowering blow of the wind.
God is Happiness. What I firmly take hold right now is the belief
that no matter what happens, I will trust God in everything. Whenever I kneel
down, bow my head, clasp my hands and brought it right here in my heart and
pray, I always talk to God in my own solitary and sincere ways. When worries
reside my mind, and I know that it will surely scare my heart, I take refuge to
God. For God is all. And my Living God is Bigger and Greater than the fears,
doubts, worries and all the depressing negative thoughts I have. Bruce Di
Marsico once said, “Feeling the presence of God is a natural, actual phenomenon
for human beings. God is Happiness, pure and simple. God has made and still makes Himself available to each and every human being of His
creation. Whether people believe He should or not, He does. To be happy is to
be one with God.”. Therefore to release all the doubts, worries and fears, and
lifting it to The Almighty One, our God, is actually welcoming the Holy Spirit
to live in us and make us happy in every possible way. When I think of God I
think of Happiness. So the negative thoughts about the plane ride I had, and
all those scientifically predicted upcoming events of this world, I lift it all
to God. I am not certain of the feelings I will feel. I can only tell my
feelings when I will be there inside the plane, sitting in one of its seats,
feed my eyes with wonderful things outside the window shield. Feeling the
comforting color of the sky with the beautiful decoration of cotton balls, that
is the clouds, the luminous color of the oceans below, if given the chance to
sit near beside the window of the airplane. What’s unbelievably cultivated in
my mind is that, no one is born to be unhappy, or becoming worthless, worry
things. We are born to feel and experience the gift of God, the breadth of
life. Assuredly as we believe, deep in our hearts we pray and trust the
unconditional love of God, we will conquer fear and we become strong. As God
tests our faith by challenging us, as we overcome the trials, we can surely see
the hidden gift of God, and that is the gift of ENDURANCE.
References:
Wendy Dolber, The Guru Next Door (Novel)
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